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The Wit and Wisdom of Tom DeLay

"I'm still the elected majority leader." 

-- Mr. DeLay, illustrating his interpretation of House power dynamics more than two months after he was forced to step down as majority leader following his indictment on charges of conspiracy and money laundering, Dec. 6, 2005.

"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" 

-- DeLay, to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 2005.

"I blame Congress over the last fifty to a hundred years for not standing up and taking its responsibility given to it by the Constitution. The reason the judiciary has been able to impose a separation of church and state that's nowhere in the Constitution is that Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had judicial review is because Congress didn't stop them. The reason we had a right to privacy is because Congress didn't stop them. "

 -- Tom DeLay on April 24, 2005, cited by the History News Network, "Quote/Unquote ... Week by Week," August 1, 2005.

"These things take time and they take a long time, and some people get weary of the constant barrage that we see in the media.  You know, if Houston, Texas, was held to the same standard as Iraq is held to, nobody'd go to Houston, because all this reporting coming out of the local press in Houston is violence, murders, robberies, deaths on the highways."

 -- Tom DeLay, answering questions on Iraq during an interview with reporters on Capitol Hill, June 22, 2005.

"Reporter: Have you ever crossed the line of ethical behavior in terms of dealing with lobbyists, your use of government authority or with fundraising? 

Mr. DeLay: Ever is a very strong word.

-- During an interview with several Washington Times reporters, transcript published April 14, 2005.

"The Constitution gives us [Congress] the responsibility to create courts. If we can create them, we can uncreate them."

-- Tom DeLay  speaking at the Sugarland Rotary Club in late March, 2005.

 "Yes. It cost me $600,000 to fight the case. If I spend money on lawyers, I won't have time and money for the Republican Party."

-- Tom DeLay  speaking at the Sugarland Rotary Club in late March, 2005.

"There is a concerted, publicly announced strategy. It is not about me, but what I stand for and I have accomplished. I just happen to be the focus. It is a huge fight. George Soros is behind this and millions of dollars have been raised. But, they have a problem. They can't find anything that I have done wrong."

-- Tom DeLay, speaking at the Sugarland Rotary Club in late March, 2005.

"One thing that God has brought to us is Terri Schiavo, to help elevate the visibility of what is going on in America. This is exactly the issue that is going on in America, of attacks against the conservative movement, against me and against many others."

-- Tom DeLay  speaking at a gathering of the Family Research Council at the Willard Hotel  in Washington D.C., March 18, 2005.

"We can do anything we need to do to pass any bill that we need to pass."

-- Tom DeLay speaking at a gathering of the Family Research Council at the Willard Hotel in Washington D.C., March 18, 2005.

"I'm not watching [the trial] at all. That's a group of losers that are trying to get rich quick and using the Texas legal system for their own political purposes....  They have decided to use the court system to override the will of the people of Texas."

-- Tom DeLay speaking on the civil trial in Texas during a Washington press conference, March 1, 2005.

"Honestly, I can't tell you how much easier it is to squeeze votes out of these freshmen [lawmakers] or money out of big donors when they think if they say 'no,' I'm going to put a horse head in their bed or something." 

-- Tom DeLay, "joking" at a correspondents' dinner in Washington D.C., February 9, 2005.

"My friends, there is no Palestinian-Israeli conflict.  There is only the global war on terrorism."

-- DeLay, to members of the Republican Jewish Coalition, Aug. 31, 2004.

"A woman can take care of the family.  It takes a man to provide structure, to provide stability.  Not that a woman can't provide stability, I'm not saying that....  It does take a father, though." 

-- DeLay, in a radio interview, Feb. 10, 2004.

"You know, the Democrats want to balance the budget by raising spending and raising taxes.  The Soviet Union had a balanced budget."

-- DeLay, on Meet the Press, Dec. 22, 2003.

"I AM the federal government." 

--Tom DeLay, to the owner of a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, after being told to put out his cigar because of federal government regulations banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003.

"Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." 

-- Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003.

"We're no longer a superpower.  We're a super-duper power." 

-- DeLay, explaining why America must topple Saddam Hussein in a 2002 interview with Fox News.

"I don't believe there is a separation of church and state.  I think the Constitution is very clear." 

-- Tom DeLay, speaking at a luncheon in favor of Bush's faith-based initiative, July 10, 2001.

"Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence.  The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills." 

-- DeLay, on the causes of the Columbine High School massacre, 1999.

"I am elected to judge."

-- DeLay, in defense of his remarks regarding the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, March 27, 1998.

"Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist.  Fortunately, such families do not exist." 

-- DeLay,  during a debate in Congress on increasing the minimum wage, April 23, 1996.

"I am not a federal employee.  I am a constitutional officer.  My job is the Constitution of the United States.  I am not a government employee.  I am in the Constitution." 

-- DeLay, in a CNN interview, Dec. 19, 1995.

"The EPA, the Gestapo of government, pure and simply has been one of the major claw-hooks that the government maintains on the backs of our constituents."

-- DeLay, as reported by the Associated Press, July 29, 1995.

"So many minority youths had volunteered that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." 

-- DeLay, explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice-presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War.

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